"oh my pretty pretty boy i need you,"
i feel her fear. i feel her heart. i feel her loss. it has been so many days, but the incident has never once left my mind. up till now, i wonder, if things will ever go back to where it had once stopped? can people really pick up from where they have left off? it is always easy to say, that we forgive, but does our heart really forgive the people who have wronged us? after nine months, suddenly a social life becomes so much of a concern to somebody. if that is the case, the problem and arguments that keep escalating lie in either the partners, not so much of the people or environment around them.
today i made the decision to take what is already offered to me. "it doesnt matter if you dont love me or want me, because i will still hold my head up high." i have said so much, cried so much that i am far too tired to even think of the right words to be strung into a perfect composition to explain all this. for me right now, it doesnt really matter if this is about him this time round, as long as he still acknowledge my presence, i take it all now. it all makes sense now. committing is equivalent to restriction of freedom. it is alright mister. as long as you are happy, i abide by your say. what matters most is, my mind and heart are no longer so much in a turmoil.
to yani dearest, i wish there is someway we can communicate to one another. i know i can help you, likewise, i know you are the person who can help me the most right now.
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